Mess Up
by AThousandTimesMore
Summary: How could something that she wanted so much end up getting messed up? Then she had the answer. Because everything she touched always got ruined. Liley one-shot


_**Sick today, so I decided to write more. Enjoy!**_

"I can't believe you!"

Miley stepped back in surprise as her girlfriend of three years, Lilly Truscott, yelled at her. She had gone to an after-concert party hosted by Tracy and completely forgotten about her dinner-date with the blonde. Three hours after she was supposed to meet Lilly, she had arrived back at her house to find her girlfriend sitting on the couch watching her concert on TV.

"This is the third time this month you've done this to me!" Lilly yelled. "It's Hannah this and Hannah that, but there's no Miley! What happened to her?"

The fake-blonde tore her wig off, revealing her natural hair. She pulled it out of its bun and her curls tumbled down over her shoulders. "Are you happy now?" Miley asked.

"No, I'm not," Lilly snapped. "Just because you look like Miley doesn't mean you act like her. Once you start remembering things, you can come and talk to me, but until then…I don't think we should be together anymore."

"Don't you dare walk away from me," Miley said with authority as Lilly started to walk past her and towards the door. Lilly turned around and laughed in her face.

"So you think you can use your Hannah authority on me?" Lilly asked, putting her hands on her hips. "Just because almost every single little girl out there hangs on your every word, pays a ridiculous amount to go see you sing, and begs for your autograph doesn't mean that everyone worships the ground you walk on. I'm not someone you hired, Miley. We're in an equal relationship here, Miley. Or, at least we were. I'm not so sure anymore."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Miley asked.

"It means that we're done," Lilly said, and she walked past Miley and out the door, leaving the brunette alone in her living room clutching her blonde wig in her hand and an astonished look on her face.

* * *

Miley felt the tears well up in her eyes and she willed them to go away before they spilled over and started trailing down her cheeks. She couldn't ruin her makeup now. Not right before a concert. Staring at herself in the mirror, she took a tissue and gently dabbed at her eyes, drying them before her whole Hannah disguise was ruined.

There was a knock on the door and her dad stuck his head inside. "Hey, Hannah's on in fifteen minutes," he said gently. She turned to look at him and he sighed, slipping inside the room and closing the door softly behind him. "Are you sure you want to do this, Miles? So soon after…?"

"No, Daddy, don't say it," she whispered, standing up. "Hannah's ready to go on."

"If you're sure…" he said hesitantly.

"I'm sure," she said confidently. He nodded and opened the door, gesturing for her to leave first. She plastered a grin on her face and strode out of the room towards backstage. Her fans were screaming for her, and she knew that this should be the moment that she lived for, but…she wished things had turned out differently. So much differently. She would give up Hannah for…

"Hannah, you go on in five minutes," a stage hand was saying and she realized that she had stopped in the middle of the hallway. She smiled and nodded, following the stage hand underneath the stage where she was supposed to rise up on the elevator in the middle of the stage, surprising her fans. They had been practicing this for the past three weeks. It had gone right every single time. But this was different. She just hoped that she didn't mess up too badly.

"Are you ready?" the stage hand asked. She nodded, giving him a thumbs-up as he handed her a microphone and pressed the button that raised the elevator. Screams assaulted her ears as the door above her opened and she rose up through the floor, revealing herself to the thousands of fans that had assembled to come see and hear her sing.

"_Oh yeah, come on! You get the limo out front, hottest styles, every shoe, every color…_" she sang, trailing off. The music kept going, but she stopped singing, her hand dropping to her side as she stared out at the audience, realizing that this wasn't what she wanted. She brought the microphone to her mouth and held her hand out to signal the band to stop playing. The music stopped suddenly.

"Hey guys," she said as her fans stopped screaming and cheering. "I know that you all came for a concert, but…I can't do this anymore." There were gasps and protests, but she held up her hand again for quiet. "Let me explain before you get upset."

Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes briefly before continuing. "This wasn't supposed to end up like this," she whispered. "It wasn't supposed to interfere with my personal life. That's why I created Hannah Montana in the first place. So I could have a private life. I know a lot of people out there are wondering how I manage to keep such a private life. It's because Hannah isn't real. She's just a mask, a disguise, a way to trick the paparazzi and the crazy fans who love stalking celebrities."

She reached up with her free hand and pulled her wig off her head, shaking her hair out over her shoulders. There were gasps and whispers and she stared boldly out into the crowd. "My name is Miley Stewart," she said quietly. "And I've let this life ruin my relationships. I've pushed my friends and family away but, most of all, I've pushed the person I love away. She's the most amazing person in the world and I've lost my chance with her. So, before this goes any farther, I'm just going to end this. It's been nice doing this, but it's ruined me. I'm sorry that it has to end like this. Thank you guys for supporting me. Goodbye."

Carefully, she set the microphone down on the stage and turned around, walking slowly backstage where she started running, fleeing to her dressing room. She locked the door behind her and slid down to the floor, tears streaming down her face. How could something that she wanted so much end up getting messed up? Then she had the answer. Because everything she touched always got ruined. It was all her fault.

There was a soft knock on the door. "Go away!" she yelled. "I don't want to talk to anyone right now!"

"Miles, please open the door."

The brunette started at the soft voice coming from the other side of the door. She stood up slowly and unlocked the door, opening it a crack to see a familiar blonde staring back at her.

"Can I come in?" Lilly whispered.

Miley nodded and opened the door all the way, watching Lilly as she walked past her and into the room. The brunette closed the door quietly, keeping her hand on the handle and biting her lip as she struggled to hold back her tears. There was a gentle hand on her shoulder, then she was turning around and Lilly was holding her as sobs wracked her body.

"Shhh, it's okay," Lilly whispered, rubbing circles on her back.

"No it's not," Miley said, sniffling as she pulled away from the blonde, crossed her arms over her chest, and stared down at the ground. "I ruined everything. First, I ruined my relationship with my brother and dad. They both hate me because all I care about is Hannah and I said that I don't think that they understand what I have to go through in order to be her and me at the same time when the truth is I don't understand what it's like to be two people because I'm just living as Hannah most of the time. Then I ruined my chance at being Hannah just now because everyone knows that I'm Miley."

"That's all you care about is Hannah, isn't it?" Lilly snapped, and Miley looked up in surprise. "You don't even care what…"

"I did to you," Miley interrupted softly, finishing Lilly's statement. "And I did so much. I used you, Lilly. You were there for me when I needed you the most, but when you needed me, I was gone. I dropped you like a dirty habit because I didn't want to deal with commitment and feelings and I…I didn't want to open myself up to anyone else, let alone have someone else open themselves up to me. I was scared that if I became too close to someone, to you, then…then I wouldn't be me anymore. The thing is…I didn't realize that I haven't been me for such a long time that I wouldn't have known the difference."

"Miley…" Lilly said quietly.

"No, you were right, Lilly. I'm selfish and self-centered and I have no idea how to be myself anymore," Miley said sadly. "I don't deserve you at all. You're the most amazing person in the world, Lilly, and I really hope that you find a person who treats you the way you deserve to be treated."

"Miley…"

"And I hope that we can still be friends because if I don't have you in my life, then…then I'll be the most deprived person in the world," Miley said, tears starting to well up in her eyes again. "When we were dating, I can tell you that I was happiest when I was with you even if I didn't show it. And even before we were dating, I was only really happy when I was with you."

"Miley…"

"I'll completely understand if you never want to talk to me again," Miley said. "But I'll do anything to keep you here with me. I'll scream and cry and get down on my knees and beg you. You can demand anything of me. If you want, we can just be friends, or at least talk to each other in the halls at school. I messed up, Lilly, and I want to fix it."

"Miley, will you shut up and listen to me!" Lilly yelled, surprising the brunette into silence. "It wasn't just your fault, and before you say anything, just hear me out." Miley promptly closed her mouth and watched Lilly carefully. "I should have told you what was happening to you. If I had warned you about this earlier, it might have never happened. But I was so focused on complaining and telling you everything you were doing wrong that you just automatically ignored any criticism I gave you. This is partly my fault, as well.

"Yeah, you…you hurt me," Lilly admitted quietly. "You've changed a lot over the last year. I don't know where my Miley went, the Miley I fell in love with. But I still love you. I always will. What you did tonight shows me that there's still a little of the old Miley in you. And I'm willing to stick with you to help the rest of her to come back. Yes, you made a mistake. Yes, you hurt a lot of people, including me, Oliver, Jackson, and your dad. Yes, you forgot what it was like to be a real person. But you're still in there, Miles. If I look really carefully, I can still see her. I can still see _you_."

The brunette wiped away the tears on her face. "Can you…can you help me?"

"What do you want me to do?" Lilly asked.

"Help me be me," Miley cried, and Lilly rushed forward, wrapping her arms around the sobbing girl. Miley collapsed into the blonde, letting her sobs take control of her. She didn't want this life anymore. If Hannah Montana disappeared from her life forever, she wouldn't care. She would give it all up to have Lilly back.

"Everyone messes up, Miles," Lilly whispered in her ear. "Some people just make a little bit bigger of a mess. And it's nothing we can't clean up. You can save Hannah Montana and still keep your friends and family close to you. I don't want to take something away that you love so much. When you're out there on stage…"

"I'm a completely different person," Miley said, pulling away from Lilly slightly so she could look the blonde in the eyes. "I think…if I'm ever going to be Hannah Montana again, if I'm ever going to _perform_ again, then it's going to be a long time from now. Right now…I don't think I can handle it. I need to…to get everything back into focus."

Lilly looked at her. "If that's what you want to do," she said cautiously.

"It is," Miley said confidently.

Then Lilly did something that Miley didn't expect her to do. She kissed her. After all the pain and agony she had put this girl through, she still loved her.

"I love you," Lilly whispered, pulling away and looking into Miley's eyes.

"I don't deserve you," Miley mumbled, looking down.

The blonde lifted her chin. "Don't you dare say that," she said quietly. "You are an amazing person, Miley, and there is no one else I would rather be with. You deserve the best."

Miley leaned her forehead against Lilly's and kissed her on the nose. "I love you, too."

_**Well, there you go. I hope you liked it. Thank you to everyone for reviewing my stories. I really appreciate it, so please REVIEW!!! Thanks again!**_

_**AThousandTimesMore**_


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